(Mis)Communication
To communicate better, we must become better listeners. Try these tips:
- Learn to be an active listener: Be attentive to the other person’s concerns. Try hard to understand his or her point of view and empathize with their experiences by “putting yourself in their shoes.”
- Refrain from judging or disagreeing: Instead, aim to understand.
- Put emotions aside: Try not to let feelings like anger or jealousy stand in the way of attentive listening.
- Motivate yourself to listen enthusiastically: Before the other person even begins speaking, tell yourself that you’re going to give this person and his or her message your full attention, with the potential reward being new knowledge and insight. Ask yourself what you can learn from this person.
- Do not interrupt the speaker: Doing so demonstrates a lack of respect for the talker and breaks their chain of thought, leading to a mixed or incomplete message. Interruptions may also keep the speaker from opening up to you further.
- Avoid distractions: Focus your attention on the person you are listening to and maintain eye contact with them. Choose a location that is not noisy or disruptive. Pick a quiet, neutral locale for your discussion where you both feel comfortable.
- Focus on listening, not responding: If you think too hard about what to say next, how the talker’s situation relates to your experience or how to solve the speaker’s problems while the person is still talking, you will zone out and not hear what they are saying.